I SPENT 18 MONTHS AND $34,000 TRAVELING THE WORLD, AND FELT MORE LOST THAN EVER—4 LESSONS I LEARNED ABOUT HAPPINESS
In February 2024, I returned home to Los Angeles after the adventure of a lifetime: exploring 18 countries across South America and Asia in 18 months on a trip that cost me $34,000. I had quit my dream job as a video journalist to heal my burnout and find happiness beyond traditional measures of success and prestige.
When it was over, I went from chasing waterfalls in Indonesia and whizzing through the rolling green countryside of Vietnam on a motorbike to staring at my computer screen at home, watching the job rejections roll in.
In some ways, I felt more lost than ever.
I'd jumped back in the job market at a particularly tough moment, as thousands of journalists were getting laid off. The future of my career and income were uncertain. That's a scary feeling at 34, when you often feel pressured to buy a house, have kids, and save up for retirement.
These circumstances would have made me unhappy and ashamed a few years ago. I no longer had the cool job or the epic, Instagrammable life around which my self-worth used to revolve. Instead, I was home and unemployed.
But my sabbatical taught me four key lessons about happiness that helped keep me positive, confident, and self-assured despite the challenges.
1. Happiness is not about extremes, but balance
For years, I thought working my dream job would bring me the ultimate happiness. But I couldn't shake the burnout and anxiety.
Then I thought going all in on travel — the thing I'm most passionate about — would fulfill me. But eventually, the novelty wore off. Exhausted from constantly being on the go, I longed for the comfort and stability of home.
I realized that I won't find lasting happiness unless I'm living a life balanced between adventure, rest, productivity, and learning.
Now that I'm home, I have new career and financial goals. A few years ago, I would've sacrificed everything to achieve those, while applauding myself as a go-getter and a hustler.
But now I pace myself and do my best to maintain a personal life and gym and meditation routine. I'm enjoying the journey instead of racing to a finish line that probably wouldn't be everything I imagine it is.
2. Satisfaction is about perspective and gratitude
I never felt like I had enough success or money while living and working in Los Angeles and New York City. But in South America and Southeast Asia, where I encountered mind-boggling levels of poverty, I realized how privileged I am.
Even many average neighborhoods didn't come close to my standard of comfort. A lot of the locals I met had never left their country because they couldn't afford it.
I realized that as an American renting an apartment in LA, I live an unfathomably luxurious life compared to much of the world.
While freelancing and job hunting in a very difficult market, I was tempted to slip back into feelings of inadequacy. But the perspective I gained while traveling reminded me that I already have — and am — more than enough.
3. Flexibility and quality of life matter more than a dream job
Before returning home, I spent nearly two months in Bali. I found true work-life balance and a magical, extravagant, free-spirited lifestyle I'd never experienced.
I began freelancing and applying for jobs from beautiful cafés and restaurants, while enjoying a slower pace of life, surrounded by lush nature and stunning views.
A few years ago, I felt like I needed a big brand-name employer to define my value. I would have despaired at the rejections and lack of opportunities. But my experience in Bali inspired me to value well-being over prestige and money. I saw what life could be like, and it had nothing to do with a dream job.
I decided to stop burning myself out trying to force my way back to a "perfect role." Instead, I would pursue a job that offers flexibility and quality of life, while channeling my passion for video journalism into becoming a creator with my own YouTube channel.
I went from feeling helpless to empowered.
4. Real joy doesn't come from a picture-perfect life
My sabbatical was partially inspired by the travel influencers I followed on Instagram. I was jealous — my life felt lame in comparison to the epic, picture-perfect lives they seemed to lead.
But behind the scenes, globetrotting is a lot messier. You don't see the burnout, fatigue, loneliness, and sadness many travelers experience.
After realizing firsthand that nothing is as glamorous as it seems, I stopped aspiring to be like others and began to prioritize my own needs. I decided to sleep in and relax at cafés in Cartagena, for example, instead of hustling to embark on a Caribbean island boat tour I didn't really want to take. I don't regret it.
Nowadays, I spend most of my time working on my computer, going to the gym, running errands, and seeing friends and loved ones in low-key places. There's barely any fodder for Instagram posts.
I see others leading more outwardly enviable lives, personally and professionally. I'm happy for them, but I don't feel bad about myself. I know I'm exactly where I need to be — no matter what it looks like to anyone else.
Helen Zhao is a former video producer and writer at CNBC. Before joining CNBC as a news associate, she covered residential real estate for the LA Business Journal. She's a California native and a proud USC Trojan and UCLA Bruin.
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